Watching From Afar
by FaithlessSinner
Summary: Shikamaru is in love with a specific Sensei, but he doesn't act upon that love so he watches and yearns from afar.. Will he be able to sacrifice his love for his Sensei to save him? Will he take it, or will it be too late? Lemon!
1. Prologue Prt1

A/N: This is my first Asuma/Shikamaru FF...let me know what you think, and yes it's a full story. FYI...this is a death fic...

I tried so hard to fight what I had for him, but I couldn't. I almost watched him get killed and that's when I realized, I was in love with my Sensei, Asuma Sarutobi. As I lay in the soft green grass and looked up into the sky, watching the clouds go by and all I could think about was him. How close I was to losing him. I felt my heart start to break at the thought. I shook my head no.

"I will not lose him…" I muttered.

"Lose who Shikamaru…"

"No one Sensei…" I smiled at him. I couldn't tell him that I was in love with him, he was with Kurenai Sensei, I was left alone to admire from afar.

I could sense the look he was giving me from my answer but I shrugged.

"Mind if I join you?" He asked me. I nodded and laid back down. I heard him shuffle his feet next to me and softly collapsed on his back and stared at the clouds along with me.

I couldn't help the smile that crept up on my lips. For the next few hours we stared up into the sky and watched the clouds roll by and we pointed and said what they looked like. We started laughing at some of the images we seen. I've never had so much fun in my life as I was that day. I looked at him for a second before he turned to face me.

"What?" He asked innocently.

"Nothing Sensei…" I said, shifting my head.

We stayed there for another hour; I kept tossing glances at him, biting my lip. I yearned to reach out and kiss him softly, but I couldn't. I couldn't do it to Kurenai. I couldn't be selfish because I was in love with my Sensei. I sighed at the depressing thought.

"Shikamaru, are you sure you are okay?" He asked.

"No, I'm not Asuma Sensei…" I got up and looked at him, "But it doesn't matter, I will be. I have to go and see Tsunade…Ja ne…" I said as I got up. I poofed out of there and left him dazed and confused. I didn't want to face him after I said that.

My heart tugged at me to get away, it hurt really bad to think of what Asuma would say when/if he found out that I was in love with him.

"_I demand another member on my team, I wish not to have someone who gay on my team. Worse of it all, having him in love with me," Asuma said talking to Tsunade._

"_I can't change a team all because you don't want one who is gay."_

_I walked away from the door, refused to hear it, any of it._

"_Shikamaru…"_

His voice snapped me out of my head. I looked to see Chouji, who was eating chips, coming towards me.

"Hey Chouji," I smiled. He was my best friend, and the only person who knew that I was in love with my Sensei.

"Want to go Cloud watching before sunset?" He asked. He knew that was my favorite pass time, and today was our day off. I nodded and we walked to a secluded spot and laid down.

As I watched the clouds roll by, I told myself that it was better to watch from afar, and that is what I will do, as well as protecting him. My one and only love, Sarutobi Asuma.


	2. Prologue Prt2

A/N: This is part of the prologue. I decided to break it up. The real story will begin after this.

After the cloud watching, I told Chouji that I was going home to sleep. I found out once I got home that I had a note waiting for me, from Asuma, stating that we had tomorrow off as well. I sighed, I really needed a mission to clear my head from the pressure between my Sensei and I. I ignored my parents and went straight up to my room and laid in my bed, as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out like a light.

"_Aah…Asuma…" I moaned as I felt him squeezing my aching length through my pants._

_I shivered as he kept kissing my neck, leaving hickies around the skin. He pushed me onto my mattress and crawled on top of me, kissing me deeply. He practically tore off my shirt and biting at my chest, still leaving marks on my body. I arched and groaned, God it felt amazing what he was doing to my body, making it squirm and crave for his touch. I inhaled, smelling the smoke and musk from his body. I wanted that scent on me, I wanted him on me. I wanted him…in me. I pulled him up and kissed him deeply. I felt him grind against me. My body jerked up at the grind, I wanted to feel more of this heaven, more of this…feeling of pleasure._

"_Troublesome Sensei…" The phrase past through my lips as I start to push his teasing head lower to where I really want it. I gripped his hair as he started to nip around my belly button._

_I heard his musical laughter and started to melt. I have never heard anything sweeter then that laugh._

"_As…Asuma…Sen…sei" I stuttered._

"_Shikamaru…"_

I slowly started to wake up to the voice calling my name. I noticed two things, one, I had a killer erection. Two, the voice sounded confused. My eyes flew open as I saw Asuma Sensei with his wife, Kurenai.

'Oh shit!' I got up and got dressed before running past them to my favorite spot that was never known other to Asuma Sensei, and now I think it was a mistake. I watched them leave my house, I felt a little jealousy stirring in my gut as I seen him hold him close. He turned his head up towards me and looked at me sadly.

I looked away from those hurt eyes and started to beat myself over what I was thinking.

A few hours when past as I started to get really hungry. So I got up and went to Ichiraku's place for some Ramen. I overheard Naruto and Sakura talking about Asuma. I knew it was going to be a bad idea, but I started listening to the news.

"We need to get Kurenai Sensei a present," Sakura said as she took a bite of rice.

"What would we get a pregnant woman?" That was my best friend, I started to chuckle when I heard the news, but then I froze. I felt my heart sink into my stomach and shatter. That's when I knew, it was time to travel on my own, away from Asuma and everyone else, so I started to run. Running to my only friend that I knew I could depend on. Choiji.


	3. Asuma's side

A/N: This is too short. I really don't like it, but I really do want to thank Suave Asphyxiati for giving me the idea of this chapter. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Asuma's P.O.V:

My head was swimming with the thoughts of a specific body. All of his statements, looks, everything I can't seem to get him out of my head. I had to stop sleeping with my wife because he was on my head so much.

"Maybe I should just sleep with him…" My eyes widen as that saying slipped from my lips. I shook my head with a chuckle and got up from the grassy ground. I walked off of the grass to the road; I walked from there to Ichiraku's where I saw Chouji munching, as always, on his food. I walked up and sat next to him, and ordered a bowl of rice with miso soup.

"Asuma sensei…have you seen Shikamaru?" Chouji wondered.

I looked over at him confused, usually, if you find one, the other isn't so far off. "Does he have a mission?"

Chouji shook his head no, "He has the week off Sensei…"

"I noticed something is off about him, is there anything wrong that you know of?" I knew that if anyone knows what's going on, it would be Chouji.

"No Sensei…I don't," He was lying, and I knew it.

I decided to go on an alternate route, and bribe him with food, "I'll pay you for lunch for the next week if you tell me what you know."

"I know what you refuse to see Asuma-sensei…" Chouji looked up at me with a slight sad look on his face.

"What exactly am I refusing to see Chouji…" I asked him, making sure to emphasis the confusion in my voice.

Chouji sighed and stared at me like I was a moron, he dug into his second bowl of food before answering me, "Sensei, you are an idiot to see what you are doing to him…how bad he's hurting because of you."

"What did I do?"

I never noticed the shadow that was following me from the distance; I stared at Chouji like a fish out water. I noticed that Chouji sighed and shook his head; he looked at me like a moron, again before replying to my question.

"He's in love with you Sensei…he always have been," He stood up and walked away.

I dropped my chopsticks onto the table as my mouth dropped slowly. How could I have never noticed this? Is that why he has been avoiding me? As all these questions swarmed through my head, one thought simply arose.

'_I'm sorry Shikamaru…I'm sorry I never paid attention enough to see that you were in pain.'_

I knew that I had a lot to make up for, and I plan to make up for it. All of it. As I walked away, I never heard anyone talking.

"Dammit Chouji…fucking troublesome."


	4. Mission Announcement

Shikamaru:

I walked away from the Ramen shop and went to my usual hiding spot, my room, staring out my window. I looked at the clouds, my eyes slipped closed as my sensei drifted to my head.

"_Asuma…fuck…" I muttered as he toyed with my body. His fingers pinched and tugged on my nipple as his other hand traveled down my naked chest and stomach. His scaled fingers lingered on my hips as they rubbed gently around my belly, making my muscles flutter._

_I bit my lip to try to control myself from releasing so quickly, but this felt too good. He slowly pulled away and I couldn't help but to whine at the loss, but before I could complain too much, his mouth replaced his fingers and he bit the tender flesh. His hands held down my hips down as I started to raise them, "Eager now Shika?"_

_I moaned slightly, my hands were bound so I couldn't push him down further, or anything. I nodded slightly and tried to raise my hips again. He snickered and bit my nipple again and I gasped out again. My cock never felt so hard in my life than it did now, his fingers started to slowly unbutton my pants and ever so slowly pulled them down. I whimpered as he left on my boxers._

"_Shikamaru…"_

_I looked up at him._

"Shikamaru!" My eyes opened and I looked at my doorway. There I found my dad with Asuma. My face flushed deep red as I moved to cover my erection.

I saw a look flash before Asuma's eyes, but it was gone before I could decipher what it was.

"What do you want Asuma-sensei?" I asked.

"I came to let you know we have a mission tomorrow, we leave at Dawn."

I nodded softly, turned back and looked out of my window. I never saw the sadness that came over Asuma as I continued to ignore him, nor the look of pure confusion in my Dad's eyes. I never looked at either of them again, and they finally took the hint. I sighed softly and shook my head. I wonder whose all going to be on this mission, I slowly drifted off to sleep.

A/N: I know it's short, and for that I apologize. I've been slowly writing. I'll make sure the next chapter is longer, and you may have a small lime scene next time. And Possibly a Lemon, a tricky Lemon.


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